“Tong exam nyo yung sinasabing ending the sem with a bang!”

Well I cannot agree more with him. As always, things went his way again. I hoped and still am hoping though, that different and a variety of bang!s were and are involve. Bang!s more explosive, more rightful, more appropriate. Bang!s we (my classmates and I) equally deserve.

Bang!krupcy for my affluent, almost filthy rich classmates. Bang!krupcy most especially for those who have drivers and a garage as expansive as the Sunken Garden of cars like umm Benz. Thanks for the free food. How thoughtful of you guys. Your gesture was and will forever be appreciated. Really.

Bang!les with spikes projecting inward, which will be forcibly worn around the neck, for every one who fails the subject. All the effort exerted, the sleepless nights, anxiety, disappointments, frustrations–all those and other factors may lead to loss of wanting to live. The bangles will surely be of great help. Shit. I hope I don’t and won’t need to wear them.

Bang!ka for all of us who swam and (almost) drowned in our own oceans of blood that oozed out of our nose, eyes, ears, mouth, sweat glands, and what have you. But of course, my affluent-almost-filthy-rich-classmates have their own luxury boats; they do not need this.

Bang!ladesh where the rice shortage is way worse than that of ours. A place for my not-at-all-obese-but-a-bit-overweight-slash-overfat classmates. At least you won’t need lipectomy, jejunoileal bypass, chronic caloric restriction, behavior modification, acupuncture, exercise, drugs, hypnosis, and what have you just to lose weight and/or fat and be able to escape from our professor’s scrutiny.

She Bang!s by Ricky Martin, for all of us most especially for those who pass the subject, for a job very well done. Party time!

BANG! (the sound of a gunfire) for my dear classmate I caught cheating this morning. May he/she/it rest in peace.

I never knew things would be this weighty.
Because if I did, I would have gone the other way.
And I can’t turn back time.
Nor can I fold back or retrace my steps.

Decisions have been made.
Decisions have to be made.
Hopefully they alter things only for the time being.

Days of not showing up feels like centuries.
Feels like hundreds of years in exile.
And it feels terrible. Very excruciating.
And it sucks. Bigtime.

Things will be done, finished in a few days.
Just give me these few days.
Only a few more days and I’ll be back.
I promise.

Ps: I miss you.

To all the BIG Mamas..
Who forever love their kids.
Who forever will consider their children babies no matter how young they are.
Who forever will be in the hearts and minds of their youngsters.

To all the BIG Mamas, HAPPY MAMA’S DAY!
You know we love you.

You are the reason why I was not able to enjoy the rest of the night.
Kill joy.

From past 7:30 pm until we went home, I was on the floor.
Sleeping. Cold. Feeling the excruciating pain you’ve brought.
Until now I still can feel the ache you caused me.

You’re a crap. You made me throw up.
In a matter of seconds, everything I took in went into that plastic bag.
The money I spent went into that plastic bag too.

I do not like you. I never will.
I’ll never waste my time and effort falling in line just for you again.

Fly away Flying Fiesta. Fly away.
I’ll never be flying with you again. Never. Again.

The realizations i came up with, the facts i encountered face-to-face. Both added weight to my sufferings. Both made my hell week more hell. And i hate them.

I hate the fact that i submitted papers that were substandard. You know. Those papers you submit just for the sake of being able to submit one and not miss a requirement. Hell. How can one be able to come up with a good paper overnight?!

I hate the fact that I did not have free time. If i didn’t have class, I went to the library to read and borrow books. If i didn’t have class, I took power naps once in a while; after that, I went back to work immediately.

I hate the fact that i did not have enough time for sleep. Nor did I have time for sleep. Sleeping meant suicide. Sleeping meant not getting a requirement done. Sleeping meant not preparing for the exams. Sleeping was a luxury.

I hate the fact that i was not able to train this week. Not even once. Dang! If only people know how terrible I feel those times and right now. If only people know how dreadful it is not attending training. But for Christ’s sake, how can I attend training when I do not even have time for sleep and free time?

I hate the fact that the i did not have enough time for myself. The only time i had for myself was during work breaks. And during meals. And the time i left my chair to get some water and stay on my seat, waiting for my professor to come in. When you add all those up, the time i had for myself will not even reach 24 hours.

I hate the fact that the semester is just halfway through. More weeks of excruciating hell.

They were talking. I believe the foreigner asked something, which I didn’t hear. What I heard was the lady’s reply. She said something like: “It’s Filipino culture. They sit there…. …maybe they are too lazy to hand over other passengers’ payment.”

My ears rang. I felt like wanting Mother Earth to eat me right that very moment, not primarily because I thought they were talking about and throwing shit at me, but because I was controlling myself, preventing from joining their conversation and deliver a speech.

For crying out loud, it’s not Filipino culture. Not even a part of it.

The lady’s statement is a very good example of a very very hasty generalization. I hope she knows what a good sample of a population is. If it is Filipino culture, then I must be the entire Filipino population.

Sitting farthest from the driver, may be a tactic of lazy, uncooperative passengers. But not everyone who sits nearest the entrance is lazy. I sit there (as much as possible) because i think it’s the safest spot, most especially for cases of hold-up. But more than those, i believe it’s a matter of personal choice. People can sit wherever they choose to. People sit there because they choose to. And the lady can do nothing with and about that. Nor do I or anyone else. I hope she knows what human rights and freedom are.

And with the handing over of payments, you can choose not to help. Right to choice; freedom of choice. I just hope you crash into ‘Social Responsibilty‘ and what it means soonest.

ang buong boobs ay yung nipples. yung nipples lang. cge. pati na rin yung areola.

siguro napapansin o nakikita nyo sa posters, magazine pages and covers, billboards, films, pati sa totoong buhay o yung normal, pang-araw-araw na buhay na:

ok lang na may cleavage. yung cleavage na parang halos iluluwa na ng suot na damit yung buong boobs. yung tipong nakikita na yung buong organ. yung buong mass BASTA di nakikita at nakatago/natatakpan pa rin yung nipples. pati yung areola. AT di nakabakat yung nipples.

bakit kaya ganon? yung cleavage ay parte rin naman ng boobs, di ba?

pano kung ang gawin ay yung kabaliktaran? imbis na yung nipple at yung areola lang yung nakatago, yung dalawang yun lang yung exposed/out in the open at yung ibang parte ay nakatago. tagong tago. balot na balot. ano kaya mangyayari? pwede kaya yun?

hmmm…

the person you are seeing on the mirror everytime you face one right now– is it exactly the person you thought or felt you’d be seeing on the mirror 10 years ago?

did your forecast/s turn into reality/ies? was your horoscope true?

were your expectations met? if they weren’t, are your hopes all shattered now?

can you even still remember the exact words you said as response to the question?

..or were you even able to answer the question?

and..

10 years from now, how do you see yourself?